You rub the bridge of your nose, tired of the incompetence of your co-workers.
Well, not so much co-workers and more minions to your evil cause. You’re ESPECIALLY angry at your main minion, who you’ve affectionately nicknamed “Main Minion”. He was SUPPOSED to present you, Evilzor, master of all evil and villainy, with an army the likes of which will finally destroy that Super Stacy from Home Ec and help you complete your ultimate goal— take over the world! Instead, well, you got… this. Main Minion, or M&M for short, stands beside you hopefully. Although, the incredibly disappointed look on your face has dulled his spirits somewhat.
“I just want to know where we went wrong here” you say, trying to keep your fury at bay “I asked for an army the likes of which will destroy my arch nemesis Super Stacy from Home Ec as well as help me in my goal to conquer the world, right?” M&M nods: “Right!” he says, proudly. You sigh deeply. “I ALSO said you could freestyle the rest of the army, maybe bring back the dead or hire a PMC or SOMETHING, but I said there was ONE THING you NEEDED to get!” M&M looks confused. “Yeah” he says “I got that! You wanted 25 Australian Shepards!”. You glare at him, the burning look of an evil mastermind scorned boiling your minion’s skin. “Australian shepherd MISSLES! MISSLES, DARN IT!”. M&M looks from you, back to the 25 dogs he’s corralled, then back at you. “Oh, well don’t worry” he says…
“These are 25 Reasons Why Australian Shepherds Are The Best Dogs”
1. They skip merrily. There is a long pause between M&M and you, his master. You wonder how it got to this point, where in your life did everything go so wrong? There was a time when the name Evilzor struck fear into the hearts of men, instead of snickers and eye rolls. Now, as you stand amongst more than two dozen prancing dogs, you can’t help but feel a little overwhelmed by it all.
2. They’re clingy. You sit down on your evil throne, your head on your hand. Slowly, M&M and a grey Australian Shepherd approach you, quietly watching you. The Australian Shepherd lays it’s head on your lap, looking up at you with its pale blue eyes. You look down at it with contempt, a bitter reminder of your failure. You raise your hand to strike the beast, but find… you can’t possibly do it.