25 Times Nature Made Us Say “NOPE” (WARNING: This List Might Be Too Scary For You)

 

You sit around a campfire with all your friends. The moon is bright, the stars are twinkling, and the midnight breeze gently caresses your skin. You are at one with the woods, the earth, and nature in general. But wow does it suck.

As one of the campers strums his out-of-tune guitar lightly, you hear: “Today is gonna be the–” and you KNOW you have to stop it before things get out of hand. “HEY!” you cry out. “Why don’t we tell scary stories?” The rest of the group must’ve been thinking the same thing you were, as they all cry out “yes!” in desperate unison. You hesitate, because even though you know a lot about spooky creatures, you don’t know any fun facts about them to accompany their pictures. Darn, why does everything you do have to feature pictures and fun facts?

Luckily for you, Australia’s absolute worst wildlife expert, Jack Durango, jumps from the bushes to help you along in this artic– um, I mean, story. “Crikel!” he says, not wanting to steal another Australian wildlife expert’s copyrighted catchphrase. “This is 25 Times Nature Made Us Say “NOPE” (WARNING: This List Might Be Too Scary For You).

1. This sheepshead fish that has human teeth! According to the Scientific American, this fish’s unique combination of teeth helps them process their very complex omnivorous diet. If you’re wondering, “What ocean do I have to avoid to make sure I absolutely never run into one of these things?” The answer is, well, most of North America’s coasts (both East and West). Sorry!

2. In Canada’s Nunavut territory, snowy owls will sometimes use lemmings as nests. According to the scientists at PRI, that is exactly what snowy owls will do during the times when the lemming population explodes. Faced with way more food than they can possibly eat, they use the excess lemmings for other means, namely their nests. My, my is that gruesome! Animals using other animals as warmth? It’s just disgusting, only something a wild, uncivilized beast would do! Now, if you’ll please pass me my leather jacket and snakeskin boots, I’ll be on my way. Hey, it’s kind of chilly outside, I don’t want to catch a cold. 

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