Oh, for non-denominational deity’s sake, Amazon! I ordered 25 GOLF caddies, now how am I supposed to remake Caddyshack?
“Don’t panic” says the voice inside your head “25 Shoe caddies can be a good thing!” You scoff and talk to your own brain like Homer Simpson: “Yeah? Maybe if I had…” you try some quick math then give up because math sucks: “Maybe if I had like… 8 million shoes!”. “Close estimate” says your voice, who shouldn’t be talking because it was the one who came up with it in the first place “but shoe caddies aren’t just for shoes, matey! In fact, here are 25 Clever Uses For A Shoe Caddy!”. “Listen” you reply “I really don’t have ti—” “I SAID” interrupts the voice in your head “HERE ARE 25 CLEVER USES FOR A SHOE CADDY, DARN IT!”.
1. Organize your water bottles! “HYEAH!” says the voice “check out how sweet those water bottles are! All arranged all nice and stuff! Bet you’re not regretting those shoe caddies now, huh?”. You wait for a moment, maybe for the voice in your head to tell you it’s joking or something, but alas, nothing comes. You sigh deeply: “Voice” you say “I don’t know if I can do this today, I’m not really in the mood”.
2. Make an indoor garden! “OR” continues the voice, ignoring you. “Start a new garden indoors! Turn that drab living room into a bustling jungle of life using this simple method!”. Oh for goodness sake, now it’s not even listening to you.