From breaking and entering to well-timed spoilers, these petty exes really take the (divorce) cake!
Check out these break up stories.
“I was in the process of a divorce. Not yet finalized. I was divorcing because of ex’s cheating. There is this somewhat vague, unclear rule that if I were to have sex with her during this time, it could constitute as a reconciliation. In any case, ex is still living in the apartment with me. I get home from work, and she starts to seduce me. This seems pretty weird, as she hasn’t wanted to do anything sexual with me for months. I know I shouldn’t do this but she strips down to nothing and gets really physical.
Basically, she strips down and starts trying to push me into the bedroom and pull my clothes off. I think for a minute contemplating what I should do. Fortunately, I decided to walk out of the apartment. When I open the door, one of her friends is standing right there with a camera. The plan was to get me in the bedroom and then have this friend film us (without my knowledge) so that she could say we reconciled (using video evidence) and could possibly then be entitled to alimony.” (atom5583)
“The day that I left my ex boyfriend, I spent 4 hours in the woods looking for my truck keys because he had thrown my keys away in the woods behind our apartment in a feeble effort to stop me from walking out. Obviously, it didn’t work.” (Anunez1)
“Put me on the mailing and call list for every church group she could find. For two months, my phone was blowing up with calls from churches and evangelicals, they wanted money, they wanted to send me bibles and pamphlets. The ones that had my address did send me bibles and pamphlets. Took a lot of patient explaining, and occasionally some frustrated yelling to get myself removed from everything.” (prattastic)
“Not me but a neighbor.
The couple got divorced and she got the house in the settlement. Only the house and the immediate house lot, not the surrounding land, that went to the husband.
The first thing he did was sell all the lumber off the rest of the land. She went from living in a nice forest to living in a clear-cut. He wasn’t done yet! Once the trees were gone, he sold off the topsoil, then the gravel under that. By the time he was done her house was on a hill overlooking a barren landscape reminiscent of the lunar surface. This was years ago and the place is still hideous.”
“I had a buddy whose ex, upon breaking up, raced him back to his OWN house, got there first, and then proceeded to lock herself in HIS room for several days. I don’t even think she talked much while there. She would just sneak out at night time to use the bathroom. Buddy’s kind-hearted, Christian parents fed her by sliding flat foods like bologna and pancakes under the door.” (ProgressCheck)
“My ex, when I was 20, went to my parents and told them everything we did in bed. My dad later pointed out we have some of the same tastes when it comes to sex. Then it just got awkward. I’m glad I have a chill family though.” (jcoa432)
“In college, a boyfriend of a year dumped me two days before my birthday. In my car. In the Walmart parking lot. Joke’s on him, because his friends still threw a huge birthday party for me that had already been planned in his own house. He sulked in his room and didn’t dare come out.” (Taradactyl8)
“She came to my house while I was at work. We were still “happily together” when I went to work. When I came home, she had literally cleared out the house of everything that was hers. Unfortunately, most of the furniture was hers so I came back to an empty house. The final really screwed up part was that she left a note: “It’s over. I took all my stuff. I noticed that your dog (a puppy I had adopted days prior) ripped up my shower curtain. I really thought you’d have taken better care of it than that. To make up for it, I took your wooden geese (those stupid country-ish geese made from painted plywood-which were a gift I hated anyway).” Poetic justice came one year later when she was literally left standing at the altar by the guy she left me for.” (bigpawz)
“Broke” into my house every day for about a month while I was at work. Showered, cooked food, watched TV and then left before I got home. I came home early one day and she was sitting on the couch watching TV. She, very matter of factly said: “Oh, I didn’t think you’d be home at this time.” Asked how she got in – when we were dating I had lent her my keys once. She got one cut for herself without me knowing.” (FlubberBalls)
“Showed up at my place in a suit. Asked me to marry him. Had a ring and everything. I was already dating someone else (still am), which he knew (we were already broken up for a while, my guess is that the “dating another guy”-thing was what set him off). Probably the weirdest day of my life, seeing as the new boyfriend had just left 15 min before.” (Kgcs)
“Not me, but a buddy of mine was living in America at the time while his fiance of a few years was back in England. When he went back to visit, he found that she was sleeping with his best friend and basically kicked him out of their house. To get revenge, he bought 100 alarm clocks that he could set the day as well as hour and minutes. When he went to collect his things one afternoon, while the ex-fiance was away, he hid them all over the house. And by all over the house, I mean in the vents, in the insulation of the attic right above her bedroom, everywhere! The kicker, he set most of them for big days in their lives like their anniversary, bdays etc.” (genreg)
“He made about a hundred or so little fliers and put them around town saying something to the meaning of “you’re a piece of shit, got a problem with that? Call FroggiJoy87 @ my home phone number or go to my home address”. My family had to put up with angry idiots calling and showing up at our house for weeks. He also would call the cops about suicide threats, noise complaints, underage drinking, etc., to my house. Note: this was in eighth grade! We “dated” for like 2 months when I was in an “angsty” phase.” (FroggiJoy87)
“She created a profile for me on some gay dating site saying something like “Hi, I’m 22 and looking for my first time with a man, I want to try everything!”. It had pictures of me and everything. I got a lot of emails but it still took a while to figure out where they were coming from… The worst thing is that I couldn’t get it taken down…. I had to abandon that email address.” (TheRamenator)
“My ex was a huge Marvel fan, but I was never really into superhero movies. He was also really abusive. I finally broke it off and, two days later, I accidentally ran into him making out with someone else. I went to see the new Avengers movie and found him downtown. I spoiled the entire thing.” (aerospacemango)
“My first boyfriend was a bloody shocker. I stupidly agreed to try and fix things after it came out he’d cheated on me. Six months later, he pulled the pin on the relationship and told me to move out of the house we were renting together. Two things – I had this perfume he really loved. He was in the Army and I’d sprayed it on the letters I’d sent him while he was in Iraq. He’d also recently bought a really expensive pillow top mattress. Dropped like $4k on it. I might have emptied that entire bottle of said perfume all over his mattress, bedding, and pillows the day before I moved out.” (apriloneil)
“He told me I owed him over $300 because his headphones broke and it must have been from that one time I dropped them a few months before, and also for when he bought groceries a couple weeks before the official breakup because he was “already thinking about it” and therefore it wasn’t fair I got to eat “his food”. This all happened after he moved out without warning. I had less than $1,000 from my student loans with rent due, bills due, food to buy, and an obvious need to move. Least to say he didn’t get paid.” (deleted)
“I was the ex. I hijacked her Gaia Online account and traded all her stuff to a dummy account so I could either use it on my avatar or flip it for gp later. Left her avatar with rags and no money. I think I also trolled her profile but I can’t remember. Being 15 was way different back then.” (theonlydidymus)
“She broke into my townhouse, and logged her Google account onto my computer so when I was going to websites and entering in passwords, they were all being saved under her Smart lock that I thought was mine. I was too dumb to realize what was going on. She went on my Facebook and sent a bunch of creepy messages to these two girls I was talking to so they wouldn’t talk to me anymore. I didn’t know why they unfriended me until a while later. Oh yeah, and while she was in my townhouse she let my dog out of his kennel, and he ended up eating a bunch of apple fritters on the counter. That I didn’t put out of his reach. Because he was in his kennel. My dog s— all over the house that day and night.” (Outrageous_Claims)
“Boyfriend had an affair for almost a year. I found out and we broke up. After some thinking and a lot of crying, I decided to give him a second chance. He insisted on taking us out to dinners, movies, etc and paying for us both. I let him. I found out shortly thereafter that he had cheated again with another girl and so I broke up with him for good. About a month later he came around asking for another chance. When I declined, he asked me to pay him back for my share of all the dates that he’d paid for. I wish I could say I laughed and closed the door in his face, but I legitimately felt like I had a responsibility to pay him back. Thankfully, I talked to my mom about it first and she told me I didn’t owe him a thing, so nothing is what he got in the end.” (goldinum)
“She smashed all of the gifts she had ever given me, including a 3,500 piece Lego set of the Death Star. Joke’s on her, the assembly is the fun part.” (UncrunchyTaco)
‘”Hey, can I drop by and get the CDs I lent you?” I come to her door and she has them in a box for me. She handed me the box without saying anything and shut the door. When I got home and slapped my favorite on, it was all scratched up. Unplayable. Checked the next and the next and the next. All beyond repair. Some were out of print. I never said anything. A year later, I met her in her kitchen on a Saturday morning because I hooked-up with her roommate at a party the night before. I’ve never seen a face get so red.” (LiterallyOuttoLunch)
“She asked for my new address and said that she was shipping me some of the things I left at her place. Instead, she sent me a box of what I would roughly estimate to be 500 fortune cookies with no explanation. I don’t even know if that was supposed to be revenge.” (frumpy-flapjack)
“We bought a beautiful cast iron tea set when we were together, and a little primer on different kinds of teas, the temps and times they should be steeped, etc. He was abusive and a nasty person, and raked me over the coals for the entire 30 days before he moved out (a limit I’d given him knowing he’d never leave if I didn’t put my foot down). During this time he slowly packed his stuff. I’d hit the teapot immediately because he never used it, wasn’t interested in it (he only liked to buy stuff that made him look interesting/cool, but would never follow up to actually learn about it), and I’d used it multiple times and was the only one that bothered to read the primer or buy tea for it.
Not wanting to converse with him any more than was absolutely necessary during this moving out/break up process, I saw the primer sitting on top of a stack of comics and video games. I picked it up and tucked it between two books on my bookshelf, figuring he wouldn’t care about it anyway, he didn’t own any books of his own.
The next day I saw that the primer was gone again. I never asked him about it, and he never asked about the tea set. Not sure what he planned to do with the book without the set- probably put it on a nightstand so his next lay would think he was classy.” (lunatic_minge)