Gee whiz, how can this day get ANY worse? At least that’s what you ask yourself, sitting alone in the hospital room, the branch still sticking awkwardly from your arm. Your mother told you not to go walking during the Great April Snowstorm, but you just HAD to get Doritos and Mountain Dew you disgusting, horrible, projecting slob.
Now you’re stuck waiting for the dang doctor. Don’t you pay into this? Shouldn’t they be faster? And where’s the priority? Maybe that little girl with the sniffles could go AFTER the person with a branch sticking out of their arm? You sigh deeply and pull out your phone. Hey, if no one is going to acknowledge YOUR misery, may as well laugh at other people’s for a while.
This is 25 People Whose Day Went From Worse To Even Worse.
1. Big Iron on his hip. Well that’s a bummer! Imagine having to clean all those up? Talk about spring cleaning! Seriously though, I guess tumbleweeds are your tax for having beautiful, lush, desert weather all year.
2. Ol’ Gil just can’t catch a break! The real question is who leaves an open bucket of paint in the back of their car? I mean at least use some bungee cords or SOMETHING. That’s really going to be tough to scrub out!
3. Darn you Mary Poppins! I had this happen to me once and boy does it suck. Spent all afternoon picking tiny pieces of glass from my grass, pool and deck. Note to self: buy a wooden table next time. The worst they can give you is splinters.
4. Mud spelled backwards… Apparently, this is a picture from a particularly muddy season in Russia. Oh, COME ON, as if Russia needed anything ELSE to worry about!
5. The most important meal of the day! Ah, don’t you just LOVE mornings! The feeling of being awoken from the beautiful embrace of sleep, the terrible coffee you haphazardly slap together while you’re half asleep, the legions of traffic clogging your way to work. Truly, it is the most magical time of day!
6. Glorious PC etc, etc. AHA! Should’ve heeded my warning from an earlier entry, PC nerd. Let us all being the rise of wooden tables and splinters. VIVA LA REVOLUTION! Hey, I’m trying to bring abscesses back!
7. Flip that bat, baby! Oh Toronto. As we Torontonians know from a long, illustrious history in the world of sport, we Torontonians can’t have nice things. I wonder how the Raptors are going to do this year— conference finals, an early playoff elimination or no playoffs at all?
8. Hello darkness my old friend… D’oh! For those of us who have spent a lot of time in the job market, this feeling is all too familiar. I STILL check Youtube channels I applied to be a content creator for, just to see what hack lame-o they got instead of me. They turned down ME, can you believe it? Rhetorical question, no need to answer please.
9. Somebody smell gas? For those of you confused by this entry, how is your constantly beautiful southern weather? I’m sure it’s very nice to be in your T-Shirt at Christmas. Anyways, the heavy substance known as snow has pulled the gas line from this person’s house, a commodity which is very important during cold, unforgiving winter.
10. Go ahead, get it. I dare you. Ah, sweet Florida. The Australia of the US, with all sorts of crazy, wacky animals trying to either kill you or steal your golf balls. If you think about it, the wildlife and the residents who typically choose Florida don’t mix. I don’t know much about my grandfather’s past, but I doubt it had a lot to do with wrestling golf balls from prehistoric death machines.
11. Sweet tail, dude! It always confused me how someone could possibly do this, until I discovered you could set the pump to automatically fill up your car. Now, my life has changed. Now when I pump my 5$ of gas I don’t have to stand beside the pump for the .4 seconds it takes to fill up 5$ worth of gas!
12. The one that got away. Not pictured: The woman tore off all her clothes, laughing maniacally and sprinted off into the woods. It’s said that some nights, under a full moon, you can still hear her splashing around, looking for her phone.
13. A Northern Canadian’s nightmare. Rory awoke in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. “What’s wrong, hun?” his lady for that evening said, but he quieted her with a quick gesture. In a flash, he was up and quickly checked his Coors Light reserves… to see that they were all fine. Rory sighed deeply. It was all just a dream.
14. Bump! Alright listen, I know it didn’t work the first couple of times but— OKAY, hear me out, you’re being very critical before you even hear my plan. Alright, so we take a THIRD basketball and— hey, where are you going?
15. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BILLY! Get some before the dog eats it all! At first, mostly because of the quality of the photo and the floor, the spilled item in question didn’t look very appetizing. As a result, I didn’t feel any ways about it. But that’s when I learnt that the spilled item in question was in fact, cheesecake and my soul broke a little.
16. Do a flip! Ladies and gentlemen, I’m happy to welcome you back to the annual train olympics. Right now, we watch a competitor from the United States attempting a sideways, single flip, somersault. And here it goes… MASTERFUL ROLL but OH she can’t stick the landing!
17. Le festival du fromage. NOOOOOO! Not the cheese festival! Your hubris has once again gotten the best of you, cheese festival organizers. Did they learn NOTHING from the great cheese riot from the previous year?
18. Elastigirl, no! And right before the Incredibles 2 premiere, too! What a shame! Balls of elastic bands have confused me for some time, cause I could never figure out how you were supposed to START one. I’m sure I could google it but… you know.
19. It’s a PS4 game. For those of you either A) with terrible eyesight like mine who need to squint to see a billboard 2 inches from their face or B) have never owned a dog this picture may seem confusing to you. However, those of us who have had our Skyrims ripped apart by impatient and restless canines know all too well.
20. That’s one way to get a thigh gap! Is that still a thing? I’ve spent some time recently around two DIFFERENT women and I have never heard mention of a thigh gap. Then again, it’s my mother and grandmother, who are less concerned about their appearance and more concerned with retirement and… well, life retirement. Geez, that was morbid. Next entry!!!
21. Shots to the face!!! Now THAT is one way to take a shot. The girl should’ve just played it off and dumped the redbull all over her face. Or, whatever it is she’s chasing with. It looks like Jaeger that they’re drinking and what else do you… Nevermind. It’s not important.
22. Super Troopers 2. Yeah, something about how Detroit cops are so use to fighting that they’re fighting themselves. On a related (kind of) note, I’m really excited for Super Troopers 2. I’m going to see it tomorrow opening day and I hear that it’s a great successor to the original. I just hope no Detroit cops beat me up on the way to the theatre! See? I related it to the picture!
23. Hang her up! I don’t think she has the HANG of getting dressed yet! She should HANG AROUND a mirror for longer!!! I think she um… er… has a sword of Damocles HANGING over her head? Sha na na na that ain’t no crime? Darn, that was terrible. Next entry!
24. Wood strikes back! AHHHH! It’s all the tables we’ve been making out of wood! Who was the GENIUS that came up with the idea to use wood tables! Back to glass, quick, the glass could never break our tires!
25. Heck hath no fury like a dwarf scorned. So who was that Hi-ho you’ve been seeing after work, huh? What? Yeah, that’s the best I can do. Well then let’s see YOU do it, Joseph Pulitzer!!! Don’t actually, you’ll embarrass me in front of all my friends!
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