If you are single and dating or looking to date, you are probably aware that there’s a new dating trend just about every week. If you can’t keep up with them all, we don’t blame you. As if dating wasn’t exhausting in itself, now there are terms cropping up left, right, and center that you’ve gotta be aware of as well.
Now with dating apps like Tinder and Bumble, face-to-face interaction is usually several steps away. If you have any of these apps, you’re probably aware of some of these dating tactics: “Ghosting” is when you suddenly cut contact with someone without any explanation, and “breadcrumbing” is when you reach out to someone once in a while just enough to keep their interest, “cushioning” is when you flirt with several people just in case your current relationship fails, you have something (or someone) to fall back on.
Sadly, we have a new dating trend for you to stockpile in your repertoire of facts you don’t want to know. Still, it’s tough out there so the more informed you are the better you’ll fare. The new trend is called “pie hunting”, which sucks because it’s a terrible trend named after a beautiful thing. The term originates from the slang expression “pied off”, which means “to be ditched, dumped, or abandoned, similar to getting a pie in the face.”
Though it sounds a lot like ghosting, it’s far from it. Pie hunting involves purposely seeking out a single person who has gone through some terrible relationships in the past (i.e. has had their heart broken, been cheated on, etc.) The idea is that people who have been treated poorly in the past are vulnerable and easier to take advantage of. Gross, right?
According to the dating expert Rex Wood, “The mindset of a pie hunter is simple: why take the risk of dating resilient, invulnerable people – and being successful – when there are plenty of men and women out there who will be thoroughly grateful for the attention and the chance of finding romance.”
Is this new dating trend scrummy and terrible? YES. Is it effective? Unfortunately, yes. It’s exploitative and takes advantage of people who may be at their lowest points. Pie hunters typically go for people who have gone through a divorce or a bad backup.
Thankfully, there are ways to keep yourself safe from these abusers. If you have recently gone through some sort of relationship trauma, be especially careful of the kind of language you use in your profile. Stay away from revealing your past troubles, or any recent bad dates too early.
Also, becoming aware of the harmful dating tactics and terminology in use can keep you from falling prey to any tricks. Lastly, try to get to know your would-be date longer before consenting to meet. This way you have some time to judge their character and are less likely to face any surprises when you get together.
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