Welcome, dear reader, to the Bestie rock and roll hall of fame. We would like to remind all of our tour guests that while they do in fact look like just mannequins, all the people featured in this museum are in fact real, alive or dead. That’s right folks, we have the REAL rock stars here to tell you their secrets personally.
While I’m certain that is very exciting for everyone, we would also like to take this time to reinforce the fact that visitors are NOT to use their own black magic spells to take control of, capture or otherwise manipulate the spirits. It is strictly prohibited and will result in banishment from the museum, as well as a $50 fine.
Finally, please do not tap the glass, climb on displays or take any flash photography while on the tour to avoid scaring the exhibits. If there are no objections, please continue to our first exhibit on the 24 Insane Rock Star Rumors That Are Actually True tour.
1. Steven Tyler Once Had A 14-Year-Old Girlfriend That Her Parents Signed Over To Him. Yes, dear reader, Aerosmith’s frontman convinced the parents of then 14-year-old Julia Holcomb to sign over custody of their daughter to him so the two of them could date. What’s even crazier is they agreed! The two dated for four years until an abortion caused the two to split. What’s that, Miss? Yes, I know, 1975 WAS a crazy time, but please refrain from making comments until the end of the tour.
2. David Bowie and Mick Jagger were found in bed together naked. It seems the rumors about Bowie’s devil may care sex life were true , dead reader, as Bowie’s first wife Angie claims the iconic singer was caught in bed with another icon, Mick Jagger. While it isn’t as good of a collaboration as “Dancing in the Street”, it IS something we’re not too surprised about.
3. Charles Manson wrote a song for the beach boys. One of our newest spirits at the museum comes with his own little rockstar rumor, that he once wrote a song for the beach boys. While it’s a hotly contested secret, Dennis Wilson the Beach Boy’s drummer and the notorious kook were friends for a while and they lived together. So, it’s not TOO farfetched to thin— HEY! What did I say about the glass? Actually, never mind. He probably deserves it.
Public Domain4. Ozzy Osbourne Did bite the head off a bat. This one is a rumor you have probably heard and we here at Bestie can swear to its validity. Apparently, a fan threw an unconscious bat on to the stage and Ozzy, thinking it was one of his props, did what any heavy metal singer would do and chomped down on the rodent’s face. Yes, he went for rabies shots after the concert.
5. Led Zeppelin once defiled a groupie with a fish. More specifically, it was a mud shark and this one is also hotly contested. Some say it was Zeppelin, some say it was another band named Vanilla Fudge, the only people who know for CERTAIN are the people who did the deed. We’ll spare you the details of the story, but feel free to revisit this exhibit once the tour is over to ask the band members yourselves. Moving on!
hardrockhub.com6. The song “Kickstart My Heart” by Motley Crue was inspired by a Nikki Sixx overdose. We’re going to try to keep this censored for all the children in the tour group… Bassist Nikki Sixx had too many needles of “happy juice” and had to be revived at the hospital. He was legally dead for about two minutes until doctors were eventually able to revive him. After being brought back from the dead, Nikki ripped the tubes and wires from his body and returned to do more happy juice. The song is inspired by the event.
7. Keith Richards snorted his father’s ashes. Rolling STONES right along here, heh heh, sorry, that’s just a little joke we like to tell around here. Anyways, after his father’s death in 2002, Keith Richards apparently told an English magazine that he ground up his dear old dad’s ashes and mixed it with… Ahem… “happy powder”, then sniffed the mixture. Hey, we’re not one to judge what people do with their loved one’s remains, we put people’s spirits on display!
8. On the night of his death, John Bonham Drank 40 shots of vodka. Ah, from shooting to snorting to drinking, this is truly a “rocking” museum, isn’t it folks? Apparently, the coroner found 40 shots worth of vodka in Led Zeppelin drummers body the day he passed. He was also doing quadruple shots earlier that day during a rehearsal. We’d ask how he was even able to play, but why not ask him yourself? Later! I’m still talking, darn it!
9. Frank Zappa was attacked onstage and almost killed. Yes, the controversial singer was attacked verbally a lot for his weird and bizarre music, but he was also attacked physically during a concert in 1971. A fan rushed the stage and threw Zappa onto the orchestra below, where he suffered some serious injury. Don’t worry, he doesn’t feel the pain anymore… we hope.
10. Keith Moon gave Led Zeppelin their name. An offhand joke by the drummer for the Who would give this iconic band their name. Apparently, when Jimmy Page, John Paul Jones, and Jeff Beck were discussing forming a band, Moon said it would go over like “a lead balloon”. When deciding what to name the band years later, Page remembered the joke. Neat, huh?
Chris Morphet/Redferns11. Jerry Lee Lewis married his thirteen-year-old cousin. Yes, dear tourist/reader, this tale of incest and underage lovin’ is in fact true. The man did, however, feel the wrath of the public on this one, as he was blacklisted and cut from his label following the incident. At least the couple stayed together for the entire duration of the bride’s life when they initially got married— 13 years!
12. The members of Outlawz smoked Tupac’s ashes. This rumor was hotly contested for years, however, in 2011 the group finally came forward with the truth: it was true! After the legendary rappers death, the group sprinkled some of Tupac’s ashes in a happy cigarette and then proceeded to smoke their dead friend. Snorted, smoked, what a way to be remembered!
13. The Beatles smoked a happy cigarette in Buckingham Palace. While George Harrison denied this rumor years later, we’re inclined to believe John Lennon’s explanation of why they were giggling so much during their meeting with the queen. Otherwise, why else would we put him on display?
14. Ozzy Osbourne snorted ants on the side of the highway. No folks, we’re not back at exhibit number four, the Prince of Darkness makes two appearances in our museum. Apparently, during a tour with Motley Crue, Ozzy found a line of ants and snorted them with a straw. Hardcore indeed, dear reader. Hardcore indeed.
15. Michael Jackson wrote some of the music for Sonic the Hedgehog 3. Oh yes, the recently departed King of Pop, sitting right here before your very eyes, composed some of the audio for the Sonic the Hedgehog game. This swirled around as a rumor for YEARS, until eventually some of the composers involved with the game confirmed that Jackson was involved.
16. Danny Brown received oral pleasure while on stage. From rock to pop to rap, this artist received some love from a very devoted fan in 2013. While this all seems commonplace for a music superstar, it was while he was on stage performing and he even continued to rap during the act! All we can say is good for him!
17. Iggy Pop fought a heckling biker and it was all caught on tape. Long story short, the singer was being heckled by a biker, he said stop, the biker said “nay” and a fight broke out. Iggy… wasn’t the winner, to put it lightly. The record is the “Metallic K.O.” album and it’s one of the only ones where you can hear beer bottles ricocheting off guitar strings. Unsurprisingly, it is a favorite of Iggy Pop fans.
18. Bob Dylan and the Beatles smoked a happy cigarette together. Ah yes, now we see the remaining Beatles and a surprise— Bob Dylan! As the story goes, the Beatles were on their first official US tour when Dylan asked if they wished to share some illegal substances with him. The funniest part of the story is that Ringo smoked the entire thing, clearly not knowing the tradition of passing the happy cigarette.
19. Jim Morrison told a cop to “Eat it”. Like many fourteen-year-old sons talking to their dad before him, Jim Morrison was a bit of a jerk verbally to an officer. While backstage in the shower with a fan, a policeman told the couple to cease their loving at once. Long story short, Morrison said: “eat it”, the cop said “Last chance” and Morrison replied with the immortal words of a long lost poet: “last chance to EAT IT, DAD!”. Okay, we added the “dad” part.
20. Keith Moon used to blow stuff up. “Moon the Loon” is what they called him and a loon he was indeed. Dear reader, the Who’s drummer was known to fill his drums with water and goldfish as well as occasionally dress like a cat. Your average furry would not bat an eye at such a feat, however, the drummer was also known for his affinity towards the destructive. Hotel rooms and furniture were his main targets, occasionally throwing explosives from windows as well. No wonder he was banned from so many hotels!
21. Van Halen wanted no Brown M&Ms in their dressing room. While you may want to chalk this up to vanity, the brown M&Ms clause was for the band’s safety. When they would send a venue their safety requests, they would hide the line about the candy deep in the request. If there were brown M&Ms when they arrived, it meant the venue had not completely read their requests.
22. Blondie’s lead singer Deborah Harry was picked up by Ted Bundy. A tale of beauty and the beast, it seems this rumor is left unconfirmed by everyone except the singer herself. We’re inclined to believe that she was in fact given a ride by a creepy guy that turned out to be the prolific serial killer, because how else would we feature her in the museum?
23. Van Morrison recorded 30 songs in one day. Oh yes, this is a true rumor however, the songs weren’t what you’d consider being classics. He recorded them because he owed his label 36 songs and wanted out, so he made what he dubbed “revenge songs”. Ask him very nicely and perhaps he’ll sing you one. HEY! I SAID AFTER THE TOUR, DARN IT!
Rolling Stone24. Prince was a Jehovah’s witness and even went door to door at one time. Some of the more hardcore Prince fans may scoff at us for including this exhibit, but it is in fact true. Apparently, he wasn’t very nice about it either and was rather pushy with one Jewish woman. Then again, if Prince came to my door he could talk to me about the holy book all he wanted!
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