Really Desperate First Date Texts

First impressions are everything, right? If that’s the case, these people jumped the gun hard with some super forward openers.

First dates are never easy.

But take these 24 desperate text messages an example of how not to approach your potential love interest.

1. The dating world is full of surprises, and a lot of the time. The catalyst to a blossoming relationship is the exchange of phone numbers. However, sometimes people reveal themselves in a much different light through their phone’s keyboard. You may think you have given your number to a normal human being, but little did you know, your digits just opened floodgates of relentless crazy. This girl clearly ended the conversation with some sort of excuse in hopes that the guy would get the hint and give up. However, giving up is not something this guy understands. Despite not receiving a response, he decided to send some check-in texts starting from a week after not hearing back all the way to post-graduation. You have to admire this guy’s persistence, and at least he only sent one text in a blue moon, but he really needs to learn to take a hint.

2. Some people have absolutely no shame when it comes to getting straight to the point for what they’re looking for in a relationship. However, this person seems to only get more aggressively forward with increased abandonment. Who knows what text came next after October 17th? “Let’s start looking for companion gravestones?”

3. The superficial avenue we take with modern dating apps leaves a lot of surprises once you get to know the person beyond their picture. This girl knew she was in for a creative type when she matched with this guitar-wielding Malboro manbun, but little did she know, he’s looking for a little impromptu ménage à trois.

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4. This guy jumps from compliment to proposition at lightening speed, and according to him, it’s worked every time up until now. Something tells us this is the kind of guy that will try anything for a win. Unfortunately for this guy, this girl has sniffed that out as quickly as he was proposing nudes.

5. What’s the appropriate response to someone giving you a compliment? “Thank you,” right? That’s what this girl thought, but apparently, that translates to her being completely full of herself. Clearly, this guy has a type, and that’s insecure women who rely on male approval for their own self-worth. Yikes.

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6. The thing about dating online or through an app is that it can take a quick turn from a romantic comedy situation to a straight up horror one.Despite not getting any responses, this guy went on to start celebrating the one-month mark of his relentless creepiness including a haunting e-card screenshot.


7. Mark may not be getting anything in response, but that hasn’t stopped him from attempting to start the conversation by greeting at each time of the day. This daily timed icebreaker is quite fitting considering this guy’s picture is the clock from Beauty and the Beast. However, Emily is clearly not interested.

8. One surefire way to scare off any potential date is to send them a “dating to marriage” contract like this woman decided to do. No one wants to be someone’s “toy” or “frolicked around with for amusement,” but maybe getting to know someone the normal way (no contracts involved) will result in the same loyalty.

9. If you aren’t getting a response from someone you’re interested in, assume that they don’t feel the same way. However, this guy decided to stoop even lower than shamelessly sending text messages, he attempted to grab this girl’s attention by sending her money. Unfortunately for him, one cent isn’t going to change this doomed relationship’s fate.

10. If you’re going to throw out hypothetical situations, there really isn’t any limit. So, it’s probably best to vouch for something a little higher than five dollars when comparing someone’s worth. Something tells us that there was no chance at recovery for this guy, but at least he now knows to throw that line away immediately.

11. After a bad first date, most people will just shut things down right away or ghost the person entirely. However, this girl decided to let the guy know exactly what he did wrong on their date. It’s unclear whether she’s giving him a chance to learn from his mistakes or if she’s trying to give him advice for his next lady.

12. Being clingy is never a good thing, especially if you’ve only just met the person. Sometimes people are just busy and can’t answer all their text messages right away. Anyone being on the receiving end of these kinds of text messages knows how annoying it can get, fast. Some people will never learn!

13. Being called beautiful is always a nice thing to hear, but when someone starts going overboard and telling you that they want to write a song about you when they barely know you, it can start to get a little creepy. Some people are so clueless though, they they don’t seem to realize doing things like this comes off as incredibly desperate!

14. I’m not even sure if I want to know what this person did while they were intoxicated to merit such lengthy text messages. It must have been pretty bad, considering this person wrote a couple novels and didn’t even receive one response. Some people should just really learn not to drink if they can’t handle their alcohol.

15. Sending messages of devotion and love and telling someone how much you miss them at 5:30 in the morning can only mean one thing: pure desperation. Consistently texting that same person without getting a response should be enough to hint that this person clearly, clearly does not want to talk to you!

16. I mean, when you tell someone that it’s your last day in town and they don’t respond to you after you send them several text messages, it should be a clue that they don’t want to see you. And ending off a text message with “sorry, if you want me to leave you alone I will,” is never, ever a good way to to try to persuade someone to hang out with you.

17. You really can’t get much more desperate than this. First, asking someone if they want to make out comes across desperate enough…but when they don’t answer and you send them a selfie of your half naked body in the mirror, that’s taking it to a whole different level of desperation. Poor guy never stood a chance.

18. When Someone tells you that the’re ready to be your slave, it’s never a good sign. Although the idea of having a slave is actually kind of tempting, having someone flat out give that offer to you after sending such creepy messages is definitely discomforting. Some people will do just about anything for love!

19. Ouch, you know you just reek of desperation when you send a happy Valentine’s Day message to your crush and you don’t get a response. And for those of you who aren’t up to par with text game among millennials, “wyd” stands for “what’re you doing.” Clearly, what this person is doing is making a great effort to ignore these annoying texts!

20. You know someone really isn’t really trying when they something as cheesy as “you and I together would be like peas and carrots.” The only person who can get away with that line is Forrest Gump, and no matter how hard you try to phase it…every time it will look ridiculously desperate.

21. I’m not exactly sure what’s so unprofessional about telling someone they have a beautiful smile unless it’s your boss or colleague texting you. Either way, I wouldn’t go about telling someone how beautiful I thought they were in such a cringy way. Some people just haven’t got a clue whatsoever, do they?

22. Well, starting off by telling someone to stop thinking that you’re ugly isn’t exactly the best way to break the ice, wouldn’t you agree? What’s even more desperate about this text message is the fact that the person followed up that message by explaining how good they are in bed. If that’s not desperate, I don’t know what is!

23. If a good friend or possible relationship prospect sent you a message saying that you hated them, wouldn’t you immediately write back and tell them that you don’t? In this case, it looks like this person may be just a little bit blinded by love. But hey, you can’t really blame him or her for trying, right.

24. Just because you meet someone online and chat a few times, doesn’t mean that you’re automatically good friends. Clearly Jackie isn’t too enthusiastic about this person messaging her, and I wouldn’t be either. At least go on the official first date before trying to stir up some small talk as if you’ve known each other for years.

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