There’s no rule book to parenting. You really just have to go through trial and error and see what works best for your child. This also applies when you are disciplining them. It’s hard, but eventually, you get the hang of it.
Parents are the most important people in a child’s life. They are the ones that pave the way for their future and the ones that kids look up to almost all the time. It’s the most difficult, yet rewarding job, to be a parent.
For all these reasons, it is so important for parents to be aware of how they speak to their kids. Every word and action that they do can really affect who the child will become when they go into adulthood.
Here are a few phrases that psychologists recommend avoiding when speaking to your child, no matter how hard it may be at the moment.
The first one is the classic saying “stop crying right now!” According to CuriousMindMagazine, avoid this line at all costs.
Even if you feel there’s no reason for them to be crying, kids are kids and they don’t know how to control their emotions just yet.
By saying this line, you’re essentially telling your kid that they should hold back from their emotions which may cause suppression in the future.
Instead, you can try letting them know that they can cry and it’s good to let it out, but still what they did was wrong. Focus on the action rather than the emotion.
The second phrase that you should avoid saying is “I am disappointed in you.” This is said by parents when the child did something wrong. It’s not the smartest tactic to use.
Your kid already is aware that they did something wrong and already feels bad about it. Telling them that they disappointed you on top of how they’re feeling just makes it all worse.
Giving a supporting hand and helping them through a difficult situation is much more beneficial for your child.
Another phrase that psychologists recommend avoiding is “you are not (something) enough!” This will definitely have a negative effect on your child, especially in the future.
Whether it’s saying that they aren’t smart enough or quick enough or skinny enough, this is something that can have a serious impact on their childhood, teen and adult years.
Instead, CuriousMindMagazine notes that if you see your child is struggling, try saying “you are (something) enough, but if you want we can work harder on it.”
Telling your kids “big boys/girls don’t get scared” is conveying the wrong message according to psychologists. Everyone gets scared. It’s human nature.
Telling your child that people don’t get scared doesn’t do much. Rather, it’s important to teach them how to face their fears.
We totally get when parents get frustrated and say things they don’t necessarily mean. Telling your child “you are a bad kid” is a big mistake though.
Telling your child that they are a bad kid will make them feel like they are innately bad according to psychologists. Using the phrase “I hope you understand what you did was wrong” is a lot better.
The last line that psychologists recommend avoiding is “I do everything for you.” Saying this makes it seem like being a parent is something you have to do rather than what you want to do.